Roomies!
by Rain-chan
Summary: What will happen when Sora, Riku, and Kairi are taken to a hotel by a mysterious 'Mr. Man' and 'Ms. Lady? By your favorite random author!
1. Mr Man and Ms Lady

**Woot! It's time for another KH story by me! I hope you enjoy it! I'll keep updating regularly (like maybe once a day...provided I get some...encouragement...hint hint) Oh yeah! I have WAY too much time on my hands...**

**Disclaimer: I always forget to do these things. I don't own Kingdom Hearts, a hotel, or a talking door. Deal with it.**

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"WHAT?" shouted Riku, looking at a letter in his hand. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME, MOM?"

'Dear Riku,' read the letter, 'I know you have been having a great time alone in the house while your father and I are away on vacation. However, I, knowing your...unique personality...think that having the house to yourself may be a bit much for you. I have been thinking. As you know,' (here Riku paused and muttered, "Well, duh," under his breath,) 'Sora and Kairi's parents have also gone on the Disney cruise with us. We are all having a great time in the Caribbean and are thankful to you three for suggesting it to us, but the others have also started to worry. You are only 15, after all, and you all have gotten into some...mischief in the past. So we have all arranged for you to stay in a supervised buisness of a close friend. You will all be roommates, isn't that special? Have fun!'

Riku, Sora, and Kairi had previously devised a plan to get their houses to themselves by sending their parents on a Disney cruise. "You really could use a break, Mom," Riku had said.

And now this. Of course it was all too good to be true. A house alone for three weeks? "Yeah, right," muttered Riku.

Suddenly the phone rang. Riku grabbed it. "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me," said Sora, "And I'm really mad."

"Did you get a letter?" asked Riku, assuming that was what Sora was mad about.

There was a pause. "What letter?" asked Sora, finally. "No, I haven't gotten the mail out of the box yet. I'm not even out of my PJ's! Anyway, I mad because I can't get the lid off the pudding!"

"Huh?" Riku was taken aback by his friend's stupidity. "So why did you tell me?"

"I don't know, I thought maybe you could tell me how to open it?" said Sora hopefully.

"GO CHECK THE MAIL, YOU IDIOT!" Riku yelled into the phone.

"Fine, fine," Sora whined.

Riku heard the sound of a doorbell on the other end of the line. "Coming!" called Sora in the back ground. "Oh, it's Kairi!" Riku heard Sora say as he opened the door.

"Sora?" said Kairi. "Why do you have bananas on your pajamas?"

"It's a long story. Anyway, Riku's on the phone and I'm going to get the mail." Sora shut the door. "Let me just..." Riku heard a loud 'THUMP', and Sora whimpering, "My nose!"

After three minutes of waiting, a device in Sora's phone kicked in and started playing disco music. "You are on hold," it said. "You are on hold. You are on hold. You are on-"

After ten minutes of waiting, Riku got fed up. "That's it, Sora!" he yelled. "I'm coming over!"

Riku started for the door, and had almost reached it when he heard a knock. "Is this the residence of...er...Riku?" said a man's voice.

Riku opened the door. "Yeah. Why?"

"I've been sent here as part of the Destiny Island Apartment and Condominium chain to pick you up as a representative of your mother." The man, who looked like someone from the FBI or the CIA, pulled out a card. "I'm Mr. Man. My assistant Ms. Lady is in the car." He pointed to a black car with tinted windows. A lady with sunglasses sat inside. She waved but didn't smile.

"What kind of friends does my mom have?" Riku wondered aloud.

"Please get your things. We have already apprehended-I mean, picked up-your friends. They are currently in custody-I mean, at the...well, the location is top-secret."

"All right..." said Riku, backing up the stairs. He turned and started to climb. Then he turned back to the guy. "One question," he said, "Is your name really Mr. Man?"

'Mr. Man's' face didn't move at all. "That is classified information."

"Right." Riku turned and ran up the stairs.

* * *

After Riku packed his stuff, all the essentials, including hair gel, and i-pod, blueberry muffin mix, a cell phone, his snowman pajamas, a can of Dr. Pepper, his wallet, a bunch of the same clothes, a digital camera, and a Nintendo DS, Riku had gotten into the car with Mr. Man and Ms. Lady. They had driven for a long, long, long, long, long long time. Of course, he couldn't see where they were going through the tinted windows, and neither could Ms. Lady, who was driving. Several times, the car ran over some screaming 'bumps'.

Finally, though, they got the Destiny Islands branch of the Destiny Islands Apartment and Condominium chain.

Riku walked through the doors and saw Sora and Kairi sitting on two chairs in the fancy-looking lobby.

"Hey, cool," said Riku, looking at an expensive painting propped up on the mantel of a marble fire-place. Then he tripped on a Persian rug and crashed into the wall next to the painting.

A little bald man came running out. "No! No! You have to be careful, young man!"

Riku stood up and rubbed his head. "Who the heck are you?"

"I am Mr. Didia, and I own this fine establishment." The bald man bowed. "Your parents have arranged for you to stay in this place due to...previous mischief, I believe they said. They also said they would be away much longer than planned, and to tell you thusly."

"Longer?" said Sora from his chair. "Like, how much longer?"

"Oh, several months, at least," said Mr. Didia, shrugging.

"What?" said Kairi. "What are they doing?"

"What they are doing is not important. What is important is that you three are staying in room 472." Mr. Didia handed them a pass-key. "Enjoy your stay."

Sora took the card and shrugged. "I guess we'd better go check it out."

So Sora, Riku, and Kairi grabbed their things and walked up the stairs. And walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked-

"Hey," said Riku. "Why didn't we take the elevator?"

Sora, who was sitting on one of the stairs sipping a soda, said, "There's an elevator?"

Riku pointed to the wall where and elevator had magically disappeared. "Apparently there is."

"This is a really weird building," said Sora, looking around at the walls. "Who hangs Picasso next to Monet?"

"Guys, stop whining and get over here!" yelled Kairi from down the hall. "I found our room!"

Riku ran down the hall the best he could while trying to balance all his junk. He pulled out the pass-key and put it in the door.

"Password accepted," said the door. "I'm Wanda. I'll be your waitress today. Can I start you out with a cup of-"

"What the heck?" Riku dropped his stuff, disturbed. "Why is the door offering me beverages?"

"Who cares!" exclaimed Sora. "My arms are about to fall off! Just open it!"

Riku tried the handle, but the door didn't open. "I object to being called 'it'," said the door, obviously peeved. "And I was only being a polite hostess."

"Uh, sorry?" said Riku.

"All right, I'll open up, but only because you're...so...CUTE!" the door wailed. Then it opened up.

Sora laughed. "I guess Riku really is a ladies man!"

Riku pushed Sora over and stepped on him on his way into the room.

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**So how did you like chapter 1? I know, it's great. I have to go right now because my mom is nagging, nagging, nagging, nagging, and driving me crazy. So, if you want the next chapter, review!**


	2. Popcorn Fiasco!

**Okay, here's the next chapter! Uh...I'm not so sure what it involves, but I tried to make it somewhat random. That's just the kind of person I am. So...enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts! Stop making me say it!**

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"Sora!" yelled Kairi from the bathroom. "Your toothbrush is stuck in the drain again!"

"Dangit!" said Sora from the living room. "Why does that keep happening?"

In the kitchen, Riku snickered.

The three had been in their "apartment" for roughly a week. Already Sora had broken the toaster AND the hair dryer, Riku had run out of hair gel twice, and Kairi had pried Sora's toothbrush out of the bathtub drain 14 times.

Although they each had their own room, Sora's had already caught on fire three times, Riku's could barely hold all his stuff, and Kairi's was a mess.

**(Flashback)**

"Kairi?" Sora knocked on Kairi's door. "Can I come in?"

Kairi mumbled something, and Sora opened the door.

What he saw almost made him throw up. There was stuff all over the floor. You couldn't even see the carpet any more. Kairi was sprawled on her bed, asleep. The bed, of course, was unmade and full of books, CDs, and paper.

Sora just backed out and shut the door.

**(End Flashback)**

"Kairi!" yelled Riku from the kitchen. "The microwave's on fire!"

Kairi and Sora ran into the kitchen to find Riku eating toast at the counter and pointing to the microwave, which was smoking.

"Aw, it's just a little smoke..." said Sora, as the microwave burst into flames.

"What'd you do to it?" Kairi yelled.

"Uh...I was...trying to make popcorn, but..." Riku trailed off.

"How long did you put it in for?" Kairi shouted, hosing the microwave down.

"5 minutes." At a look from Kairi, Riku added, "That's what it said on the bag."

"Did you read the part 'May take longer than 5 minutes?'" Sora asked. "I did that once. That's why I can't make popcorn...or nachos...any more."

"Well, it said 5 minutes, so I put it in for 5 minutes." Riku took another bite of his toast.

Kairi sighed in exasperation. "You have to WATCH it, Riku! See!" She pointed to the label, which, through the blackness, read 'May take less than 5 minutes'.

"Oh." Riku finished his toast and stood up. "Well. Thanks. Next time YOU can make the popcorn." He turned around to go to his room. Then he stopped. "Oh, wait. Could you make some popcorn?"

"Yeah," muttered Kairi.

* * *

3 minutes later, Kairi found Riku in the living room place. 

"Here." She handed him the bag and turned to walk out of the room.

"Can you make another one?" asked Riku, flipping the channel on the TV.

"Yeah." Kairi headed back into the kitchen.

5 hours later, Riku was still asking for another bag of popcorn whenever Kairi walked in with the previous one.

This time, when Riku asked, she threw her hands in the air, and demanded to know where the popcorn kept going.

Riku pointed to Sora's room.

Kairi cautiously walked across the living room, and opened the door to Sora's room, which was closed.

She was about to find out why.

* * *

When the door opened, popcorn fell out in a huge wave, burying Kairi. 

"What the heck's going on!" came Kairi's muffled scream.

Riku just flipped a channel on the TV.

Eventually, Kairi was able to dig herself out of the mess.

"You gave all the popcorn...to Sora!" Kairi ranted to the uncaring Riku.

Riku shrugged, not taking his eyes off the TV. "He said he wanted-"

"So, you made me go through all that trouble...do you even KNOW how many bags I made!"

"Uh...nope." Riku flipped the channel again.

Sora emerged from his room, covered in popcorn. "Hey, guys, did you know butter makes things stick?"

Kairi clutched her head. "YOU TWO ARE DRIVING ME NUTS!"

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So, that's chapter 3. Sorry about the long wait. I had a momentary lapse of ideas. Yeah. So, I'll try to be quick with the next chapter, for all my loving reviewers, while still trying to keep up with all my other stories. Maybe I shouldn't have written so many...but it's fun to have so many ideas to choose from! I'm going to create a short Fire Emblem story, but, like I said, it'll probably be one chapter. Okay. Yep. 


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